saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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