Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
