i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
