I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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