Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
