I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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