ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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