O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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