Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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