I'm lost and stupid without you.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
