Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
