Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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