White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
