Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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