We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
