absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
