So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize