.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
