Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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