So drunk its hurt
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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