We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I puked a lego.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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