I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
