Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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