Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
handjob tips. give me some.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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