You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
