She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
