you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
