I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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