meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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