what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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