My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
