he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You made out with two different species that night
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize