his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize