ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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