I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
