I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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