I accidentally had phone sex last night
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This is my gift to your gina
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
