I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
