can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
