i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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