she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
