Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
