she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
