you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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