It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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