We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
