where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I have demons in me.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize