Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
ttyl tear gas
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize