Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he fucked my hip out of place.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
