i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
