i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
