Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
