Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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