whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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