omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
