i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's never too late to be topless.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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