batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
