He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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